The sigh is the pathway to breath it allows breathing. Perhaps each sigh is drawn into existence to pull in, pull under, who knows truth be told, you could no more control those sighs than that which brings the sighs about. Moaning elicits laughter, sighing upsets. To live through the days sometimes you moan like deer. And though your joined personal histories are supposed to save you from misunderstandings, they usually cause you to understand all too well what is meant. What did you say? Instantaneously your attachment seems fragile, tenuous, subject to any transgression of your historical self. Then you are standing face-to-face in seconds that wipe the affable smiles right from your mouths. The salads arrive.Ī friend argues that Americans battle between the “historical self” and the “self self.” By this she means you mostly interact as friends with mutual interest and, for the most part, compatible personalities however, sometimes your historical selves, her white self and your black self, or your white self and her black self, arrive with the full force of your American positioning. This exchange, in effect, ends your lunch. The prestigious school she mentions doesn’t seem to assuage her irritation. You are not sure if you are meant to apologize for this failure of your alma mater’s legacy program instead you ask where he ended up. She wanted her son to go there as well, but because of affirmative action or minority something-she is not sure what they are calling it these days and weren’t they supposed to get rid of it?-her son wasn’t accepted. This overlap is not the beginning of anything because she immediately points out that she, her father, her grandfather, and you, all attended the same college. In the café you both order the Caesar salad. A woman you do not know wants to join you for lunch.
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